(With endless apologies to Theodore S. Geisel and his family)
When I leave home for work,
The Truth of the ACA
Always says to me,
"Ron, keep your eyelids up
And see what you can see."
But when I tell the Truth
Where I have been
And what I have seen,
It mostly sighs and says
"That's not peachy keen!
Stop telling such outlandish tales.
Stop turning minnows into whales!"
But what choice do I have
But to hunt down those whoppers
Like some half-baked Ahab
Strung out on poppers?
I've looked and I've looked
And I've kept careful track
But all that I've noticed
Is in the end,
Poor Truth just gets whacked.
Take that proposal
Paul Ryan's crew
Issued the other day.
It claims it would save trillions
By strangling the ACA.
Except for all its cuts --
Of course, they must remain in place!
Because the poor don't need any help –
Just gumption and divine grace.
That's funny, I think,
Because it seems just the other day
That Ryan and his buddies
Screamed Medicare would die
From the ACA.
How soon they forget,
But somehow I remember
It was Medicare they claimed
Would get ACA-linked distemper.
Then there's Scott Gottlieb,
Polemical physician extraordinaire
Whose recent opinion in
Forbes was cringe-inducingly doctrinaire.
The young were getting "ripped-off"
By the ACA, Gottlieb brays
(If I am permitted to use that phrase).
That's because the premiums they pay
Would be oh-so sky high.
But the math that he was used
Was just pie in the sky.
He conveniently omitted
The cheapest premiums on the sly.
It wouldn't have been such a big deal
If that column hadn't been read by
Some 395,000 people.
Many of whom I'm sure
Made up their mind
That buying insurance
Would be like gargling turpentine.
"Do no harm," says the oath
The good doctor once took
But what to make
Of this sneaky rook?
"Hold on a minute!
There must be something wrong!"
Boomed the Truth of the ACA
Like the bang of a gong.
Yes, there is,
I said, somewhat sadly,
With a mien like
W.'s National Security Advisor
Stephen J. Hadley.
There was this recent survey
That hit me like scurvy.
Many Americans made up their
Minds on the ACA
Not based on facts
But because they were too incurious
To find their own way,
Refusing to price their options
Come what may!
Were I a hospital CFO
I would find that a curious blow.
Patients with no good reason
To lack coverage,
And yet they are the ones
Who take all the umbrage.
"I've heard enough!"
The Truth of the ACA groaned.
"Millions of people have
Been helped to date.
But getting some credit
Does not seem my fate.
Did I do something wrong?
Am I such a bad person?
Why do I feel like I've been
Spat and cursed on?"
No, no, I say--it's not your fault!
It's just some people
In power prefer the
Words of John Galt.
And let's face it, a lot of them
Are just like the Grinch--
They'd rather swipe Christmas
Than give you one inch.
With that, the Truth of the ACA
Tried to get up and leave.
But choking on bile
It could only emit
One strangled heave.
It then fell to ground,
Its breathing erratic.
It tried to speak,
But just sounded like static.
I tried thumping its chest
And begged it to stay
But its frustration and sadness
Made it fade away.
The service was dignified
As could possibly be.
I attended with Truth's
Children: Facts One, Two and Three.
They were sad of course,
But swore not to give up the fight
They were facts, after all--
They should help shed some light!
I did not have the heart to say
That in this day and age,
Said facts were often trampled
By partisan rage.
But I decided to pay
That fact no mind.
I sincerely hoped a few years of the ACA
Could make us more kind.
And as I left the funeral
I decided to tweet:
To think I buried the Truth of the ACA
On Mulberry Street!
-Ron(@FierceHealth)