To think I buried the truth of the ACA on Mulberry Street!

(With endless apologies to Theodore S. Geisel and his family)


When I leave home for work,

The Truth of the ACA

Always says to me,

"Ron, keep your eyelids up

And see what you can see."


But when I tell the Truth

Where I have been

And what I have seen,

It mostly sighs and says

"That's not peachy keen!

Stop telling such outlandish tales.

Stop turning minnows into whales!"


But what choice do I have

But to hunt down those whoppers

Like some half-baked Ahab

Strung out on poppers?


I've looked and I've looked

And I've kept careful track

But all that I've noticed

Is in the end,

Poor Truth just gets whacked.


Take that proposal

Paul Ryan's crew

Issued the other day.

It claims it would save trillions

By strangling the ACA.

Except for all its cuts --

Of course, they must remain in place!

Because the poor don't need any help –

Just gumption and divine grace.


That's funny, I think,

Because it seems just the other day

That Ryan and his buddies

Screamed Medicare would die

From the ACA.

How soon they forget,

But somehow I remember

It was Medicare they claimed

Would get ACA-linked distemper.


Then there's Scott Gottlieb,

Polemical physician extraordinaire

Whose recent opinion in

Forbes was cringe-inducingly doctrinaire.

The young were getting "ripped-off"

By the ACA, Gottlieb brays

(If I am permitted to use that phrase).

That's because the premiums they pay

Would be oh-so sky high.

But the math that he was used

Was just pie in the sky.

He conveniently omitted

The cheapest premiums on the sly.


It wouldn't have been such a big deal

If that column hadn't been read by

Some 395,000 people.

Many of whom I'm sure

Made up their mind

That buying insurance

Would be like gargling turpentine.

"Do no harm," says the oath

The good doctor once took

But what to make

Of this sneaky rook?


"Hold on a minute!

There must be something wrong!"

Boomed the Truth of the ACA

Like the bang of a gong.


Yes, there is,

I said, somewhat sadly,

With a mien like

W.'s National Security Advisor

Stephen J. Hadley.


There was this recent survey

That hit me like scurvy.

Many Americans made up their

Minds on the ACA

Not based on facts

But because they were too incurious

To find their own way,

Refusing to price their options

Come what may!


Were I a hospital CFO

I would find that a curious blow.

Patients with no good reason

To lack coverage,

And yet they are the ones

Who take all the umbrage.


"I've heard enough!"

The Truth of the ACA groaned.

"Millions of people have

Been helped to date.

But getting some credit

Does not seem my fate.

Did I do something wrong?

Am I such a bad person?

Why do I feel like I've been

Spat and cursed on?"


No, no, I say--it's not your fault!

It's just some people

In power prefer the

Words of John Galt.

And let's face it, a lot of them

Are just like the Grinch--

They'd rather swipe Christmas

Than give you one inch.


With that, the Truth of the ACA

Tried to get up and leave.

But choking on bile

It could only emit

One strangled heave.

It then fell to ground,

Its breathing erratic.

It tried to speak,

But just sounded like static.

I tried thumping its chest

And begged it to stay

But its frustration and sadness

Made it fade away.


The service was dignified

As could possibly be.

I attended with Truth's

Children: Facts One, Two and Three.

They were sad of course,

But swore not to give up the fight

They were facts, after all--

They should help shed some light!

I did not have the heart to say

That in this day and age,

Said facts were often trampled

By partisan rage.


But I decided to pay

That fact no mind.

I sincerely hoped a few years of the ACA

Could make us more kind.

And as I left the funeral

I decided to tweet:

To think I buried the Truth of the ACA

On Mulberry Street!